Mata mata (Chelus fimbriata)

The Mata mata is a freshwater turtle found in South America, primarily in the Amazon and Orinoco basins. It is strictly an aquatic species but it prefers standing in shallow water where its snout can reach the surface to breathe. The appearance of the mata mata’s shell resembles a piece of bark, and its head resembles fallen leaves. The mata mata is carnivorous, feeding exclusively upon aquatic invertebrates and fish, which it has to swallow whole, since it cannot chew due to the way its mouth is constructed.

(via d0gmilk)

My boyfriend is having a 90s themed 21st birthday party, do you have any ideas on how to throw the most bodacious 90s party ever?? x


idk he should buy a ton of cocaine, snort some, and like get Jock Jams on CD, and just hardcore dance around his living room without his shirt on, and destroy everything in the house with his bare hands, and he can see you talking to another guy, freak out over it and break up with you and then cry really hard in front of everyone while snorting more cocaine and rubbing his dick through his pants, and then he can apologize and tell you to take him back, and you’re just super sad over how hes acting and then he can kick in his fucking TV and take the shards of glass and carve your name into his chest while screaming “I FUCKING LOVE YOU” and crying furiously and then he can fall on the floor bleeding from his chest while jacking himself off and then you can take his birthday cake and throw it onto his face